What happens to us in that little interim between a beginning and its end? We spend all our time in tightly clinging to this one chance at a life. Living it by any means possible. No expense spared and no moments wasted.
Then one day, all of a sudden we hurtle towards an unknown ending at such a fiery speed that it leaves us breathless.
How do you emerge on the other side? Dead, alive or in some form of existence that only those who have crossed the line will know?I gripped the shoulders of my friend riding the motorbike. In the blurred moments before, I knew that he had tried to control the bike as much as he could. He had failed. Now we were going to crash into a taxi at 80 kph. There was no room to swerve because we were hemmed in. All I could see was the bright yellow of the taxi coming closer and closer.
At that speed, I didn’t know what was going to happen in the next few seconds. Everything happened in a blur after that, lasting not more than ten seconds before impact. All I remember now are those ten seconds.
No, I did not see my life flashing before my eyes in little graphic strips. Neither was I gripped with heart wrenching grief and regret. All I felt was release. An overwhelming sense of release. Mind you, this was long before depression and all his friends had entered my life. I had no clue whether I was going to be alive after that and somehow it didn’t matter.
We live our lives in the fear of losing it. Everything that we do is governed subconsciously by that feeling. In those ten seconds, that essentially human attachment slipped away, leaving me free of fear and pain. The more we try and control our lives, the higher our fears escalate. In that situation, I had absolutely no control. I couldn’t do anything to stop the impact and its consequences. I could finally stop working so hard to hold on to my attachments.
Bereft of everything, I was finally free.
Then we hit the car.