So, my blog hit the one month mark today.
I created it when I was in a very bad space, a sad place. Nothing made me happy and so I thought, maybe I should write about it? I mean, what the heck, maybe it will help.
A month later, here I am. I wanted to thank all of you, those who connected, commented and supported.
If you managed to wade through that apocalyptic sea of verbs (Sorry, watched the Noah trailer today. I linked it, we are in for a treat it seems.), then here’s my big fat “Thank You!”
I had given up my writing years ago. I lacked the motivation, and thoughtfood to come up with anything significant.
For a month and hopefully many more, I have taken my words back.
In the worst of times, the Universe sometimes sends you light in the form of a song. It can happen when you are restlessly flipping through the music folders on your battered laptop or in the midst of frenetic shuffling through your MP3 player. Maybe you are walking down a road, and suddenly this unearthly melody fills your ears and drowns your soul. Before you get to thinking it is a voice in your head, you find the song emanating from a cafe, or a shop. At that moment, you tell yourself, “I need that song, I’ve got to have it.” You rush home and Google the few garbled keywords you remember. If you are lucky, you find the song.
Funnily, I thought of the Pearl Jam song when I saw the Daily Prompt post.
I was very nervous about posting the first time on my blog here. That is because I finally started writing about something that had remained so personal for all these years. I have been suffering from depression and most of my family and friends have no idea that I do. I fight it inwardly, on a very regular basis.
I think one of the important things that I have noticed is how perceptions of everyday things change along with the state of mind that I am in. I think that holds true for most people. For example, a sight that would normally fill you with peace and joy, can have the exact opposite effect if you are depressed/sad/angry.
For people battling depression, this truth becomes starker and magnified to unimaginable levels. It makes you hate yourself. How would you feel if you saw everyone around you derive simple joy from something while you feel indifferent, stunted? It is such a “de-humanising” feeling, to be robbed of something as fundamental as emotion. (more…)